One True Love

It is here! Today is the day, the one that is either the most awaited or the most dreaded day of many people’s year– Valentine’s Day. Whether you’re ever-the-optimist, unlucky in love or somewhere in between; most people have strong opinions or feelings about this day. Many of these strong opinions come from hurts, unmet expectations, and sometimes unrealistic expectations on our part.

Let’s be honest. Most of us are not mind readers. If we were, we would know not to expect much from that loved one who doesn’t see this day as anything more than a commercialized day for selling extreme numbers of cards, boxes of chocolate, expensive gifts, and jewelry. Conversely, they would know that getting gifts (small tokens of love) was something that spoke volumes to their loved one and just might choose to go against their opinion for the sake of love. How easy would that make life or perhaps how hard! Just consider that for a moment. If your love language was about receiving gifts and I was a mind reader and withheld that gift from you… What would that say about me?

We would do well to understand how differently people are wired. What is a ‘no brainer’ to me just might be the absolute last thing that you would ever think about and the reverse is also true. There is only One Who knows the very core of our heart. Only One Who knows how our heart beats and what it longs for and that is the One who laid down His life so that we could find actual life.

The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy–John 10:10. He sends his fiery darts: if they love me, they would___________; or any other of countless expectations that the object of our love has no idea is in our heads, therefore, could never fulfill. It is a setup for unmet expectations that divide and conquer in our relationships. Clue: if you’re in a relationship with someone who forgets parents or siblings birthdays, expect that they might also forget yours–it’s their m.o. It might be a little too optimistic to expect that you are the exception that will cause them to change. Maybe it’s the way they are wired.

We can also be misunderstood. I made a flippant generalization about pearls many years ago, not knowing my love had bought me a gift made of them. Not knowing, I had said that I wasn’t much of a pearl girl (and I was a girl, not a woman, at the time). So the next time I was with him at the mall, he walked into the jewelry store and returned the present sight unseen. Right there in front of me, he told the salesperson that I didn’t like them. The truth, that was the first I knew of them; I hadn’t seen them. By the way, they were beautiful dangly earrings. He had an expectation my being delighted by them and my words had dashed that hope all because I wasn’t keen on the more traditional concept of pearls. We both lost out, and special occasions went ignored rather than being celebrated for many years.

There is great news.  John 10:10 is a follow-up to Jesus statement, “I am the door.” meaning the door to the sheep pen that brings safety and protection to them; keeping the thieves and predators away. It doesn’t end with pitfalls and predators, and neither does our story! It goes on to say “I (Jesus) have come that they (we) may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows]. Amplified version
Jesus Christ, sent by God as a representation of Who God is and of His love; true love came to reveal what authentic love is and what real love does.

In this same general area in John, you begin to find the, I Am’s of Jesus. In John 6:35, Jesus tells us, “I am the bread of life: he that comes to Me shall never hunger, and he that believes in Me will never thirst.” In Him, we find nourishment, sustenance and hydration! When we hunger and thirst for Him and for His Word; we find satisfaction. We may or may not find all the answers to all of our questions and life may not be all that we would desire it to be but we will find what we truly need for our journey .

In John 8:12, Jesus reveals Himself as the “Light of the World.” “Whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” Jesus set the example for life when He walked among the people; He set the standard for love also. Light illuminates and brings that which we need for growth and understanding. Light helps us see fully; in places that we may not have noticed without the light pinpointing the nuances.

John 10:11 highlights Jesus as The Good Shepherd who lays down His life for His sheep. He claims responsibility for us, our safety and our well-being at the cost of His personal safety. In essence, He is clearly stating through His life, death, and resurrection that our well-being (freeing us from the penalty of our sin) is worth giving His everything, including His very life.

 

In John 11:25, Jesus declares, ” I am the Resurrection and the Life. He who believes in Me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives in Me will never die.” Death was not the end of His story. Jesus arose on the third day conquering death, providing life through forgiveness and a promise of life everlasting and abundant.

The Way, the Truth, and the Life is the sixth I am proclamation of Jesus. This one has stumped people age after age. If God is love and is a loving Father, how is there only one way to Him? Religion after religion claims they have the way, but God’s Son clearly says He is the way. He laid His will down to fulfill God’s plan, to show God’s love and to restore our relationship with God; to bridge what sin had destroyed.

Lastly, Jesus is The Vine. John 15:5 Picture if you will, a beautiful vineyard in August; branches heavy laden with lush fruit. This fruit is big, beautifully ripe and perfect for consumption. What a beautiful sight! Just remember this is only possible when the branches connect to the vine. Without the Vine bringing much-needed nutrients into those branches, this fine and delicious fruit would never happen. Don’t believe it? Just separate one branch. Cut it off and toss it aside and see what happens. Without the nutrients that cause the branches to thrive, not only will fruit not appear but that very branch will wither, shrink and in time be fit only for composting at best.

I don’t know your stance on Valentine’s Day or your perception of God; whether you even believe. I also don’t pretend to know what you are facing this Valentine’s Day; where you are on the swinging love pendulums high’s and low’s. What I do know is I believe in love. It is stronger than our present feeling about it; whether good or bad! God is the source of love. What better place than God in Whom we live, move and have our being to seek out the true definition of love with all that it encompasses and what better example than the life and ministry of Jesus Christ–who humbled Himself, walked among us loving, serving, ministering, teaching, and healing. Jesus laid down His life even to the point of death to bring us the fullness of life, wholeness in this present world and for eternity. This is the One True Love that is ageless and available to us all!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Grace and Peace be with you!

Courage to be Unoffendable

  “And anyone who is not offended because of Me is blessed.”

                                      Luke 7:23
 
 
         Perhaps you are like me and have experienced some circumstances and situations in life where you have found yourself asking tons of questions, feeling confused and hurt. In such situations, it is very easy to fall into the temptation to take offense. I have been facing just such a choice; maybe my processing my way through this just might be beneficial to someone else.
 
         Most of us have been there at one time of another and if you are following current events, you will see it all over social media and the news. All it takes for offense to flourish in our culture today is a difference of opinion on some topic. There are many other causes of offense as well so for clarification, let’s get a starting definition.  From Miriam Webster Online Dictionary we find offense is defined as:
 
 
 
                “something that causes a person to be hurt, angry, or upset”
 
                               “something that is wrong or improper”
 
                                               “a criminal act”
 
                                           “an act of stumbling”
 
                                     “an act of sin; stumbling block”
 
                     “something that outrages the moral of physical senses”
 
 
        Offense can come by means of something as simple as a few careless words to a great and terrible tragedy. Recently I was reminded of the verse at the top when Jesus said “and anyone who is not offended because of Me is blessed.” In fact, it has come up several times. For this reason, I began to try to look at reasons that we become offended. Here are a few I have come up with:
 
  • unkind words
  • loss
  • unmet needs
  • disappointments-whether circumstances, people or things
  • abuse, acts of violence, crime
  • people who disagree with you on a specific topic
  • opposing view on something you feel strongly about
  • injustice

        Basically, we become offended most often by unmet expectations and when something does not fit within our thinking of what is “normal” or fit within our worldview.  Our worldview is our conception of the world we live in. The question I had to ask next was how can I choose not to be offended in the situation I’m facing. Rather than blame someone or blame God, do I have the courage to look inside myself and ask why the situation gets under my skin? Why does this upset me? After much consideration, behind the hurt and disappointment I found unmet expectations. You see, I had put this person/relationship in a box. The truth is people are like multifaceted jewels and they are ever changing; ever growing. No matter how well we know someone we don’t know everything about them; we don’t know everything they are going through! We only have a perception of who we think they are. 

 
        With all this in mind, I begin to process the potential offense. Father, help me to understand this situation… Is there anything to really be offended about?  Would addressing this be helpful or hurtful to the situation?  I had an expectation, help me see whether or not it was realistic. I experienced a perceived loss or hurt; the ‘offender” may or may not have a clue as to my pain/loss! I have to ask what is in me that causes me to see this as an offense? Is it pride? Insecurity? Why does this create such strong feelings in me? Do I think everyone has to think like me; believe the same things I do?   Realizing of course, crimes and physical abuse would be handled much differently and potentially outside intervention.  
         For the most part, I am realizing that taking offense is often times tied to some form of insecurity and by default connected to pride in some way. Perhaps it is failure to know our true value given to us by our heavenly Creator and  through our relationship with Jesus Christ.  For after all, He tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made; worth more than many sparrows; created just a little below the angels; and that we are kings and priests in His kingdom.  Yet most of us do not begin to understand how beloved we are.
 
        Scriptures like “be quick to listen, slow to speak and anger, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (James 1:19-20); Proverbs 14:29  “A patient person shows great understanding, but a quick-tempered one promotes foolishness”; and Proverbs 19:11  A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” can be helpful in our quest to be un-offendable.
Also helpful:
 
 Ephesians 6: 11-13 tells us:
       ” Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the tactics of the Devil.  For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens.  This is why you must take up the full armor of God, so that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having prepared everything, to take your stand.”
 
Ephesians 4:30-32 cautions us:
“Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”
 
Proverbs 15: 1      “A gentle answer turns away anger; but a harsh word stirs up wrath”
 
Proverbs 15:18  A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.”
          Can we truly conquer this thing called offense? Absolutely! I believe by learning our true worth and value (not thinking less or more than we ought about ourselves); accepting that people are different and have the freedom to believe as they want even if it is different than our belief; and realizing when we have unrealistic or unvoiced expectations will take us a long way toward this goal. We will also benefit from the realization of the many times we have benefitted from  being shown mercy and grace by others and by God Himself. Lastly, we will be forgiven as we forgive others. I don’t know about you but I want to be forgiven; I need to be forgiven! Preaching the Word to myself!
Grace and Peace to you, In the Mighty name of Jesus!

Releasing Expectations

We all have expectations in our life, some met, others that are unmet and even a few that may never be met. Last night as I talked to a close friend, some unexpected and unacknowledged words came out of my mouth. I really did not think too much of it at the time, but as I lay down to go to sleep about an hour later those words came back to me. ” I am just tired of being the one trying to hold it all together!”

My next thought, or maybe it was His still small voice…”you’re not God, only He holds all things together.” Then I remembered another friend speaking recently on putting all our expectations in God and a Sermon about not drowning in the shallow water. Knowing myself well enough to know if I did not stop, there would be no sleep tonight: I made some notes and resolved that I can not fix anything, nor can I hold it together. I am going to pray and go to sleep, this will still be here tomorrow! And it was!

Yes, I awoke with the revelation that I can neither fix ‘this’ nor can I hold it together heavily resonating through my mind…time to pray! As I took this matter before The Lord, I was given a couple of reminders and a few things became clear to me:
God gave all of us a choice between life and death; blessing and cursIng.  Deuteronomy 30:19
We can not choose for another, only for ourselves!
He holds all things together! Colossians 1: 16-18
I am not Him, without Him I can’t hold me together! Acts 17: 27-29
We have been through a lot tougher things in our lives, compared this is shallow water!
Shallow water… You can actually stand up now and walk! Stand up, breathe deep and walk out of the water!!!
Yes, you are tired, exhausted even…BUT the Joy of the Lord is your strength!  Nehemiah 8:10
He who began a good work will see it through to completion!  Philippians 1:6
I can not change anyone or anyone’s mind, not even my own without Him!
Acknowledge unspoken expectations, let go of them and place all my expectations in Him! Pray!  (Thank you, Katie. Your words echo in my heart.)
Hold on to my dreams loosely, putting my faith and trust in God!  Hebrews 11:6
Walk in both gratefulness and in the rhythm of His grace in my life! Yes, even when it is tough!
Walk in expectation! What is next, Daddy?

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